I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
