I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
