batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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