there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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