Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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