Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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