Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want to make out with him forever
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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