I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."