you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just want nice things and good sex
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
