This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
