Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
