Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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