Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
