NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
