we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
