im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
there is glitter all over my balls
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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