oh god the rape fog is back!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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