yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
