my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
