i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
