Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
