Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So much Jack, so little girl.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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