FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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