I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
