How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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