Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
