stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
