Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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