Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
