Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
