Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes