dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
