I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
