i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
