Quick, to the slutcave!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
God, I missed his penis.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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