Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
