just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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