this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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