$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
