he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize