doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
