if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
