Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
