You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
