Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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