do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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