Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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