saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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