I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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