Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
