It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wish my penis had a tongue
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
