his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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