The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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