Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
