I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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