Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
