but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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