Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
