So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
