if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
soo... how was my night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
